Self defeating

I’ve been thinking about why I cannot get this blog going—and it is because of my self-defeating attitude towards self-expression—whenever I had started to blog on my experiences and thoughts—in the middle of the post I conclude that what I am writing is of no consequence—the “big picture” comes to mind—my experiences and thoughts don’t seem worthwhile or relevant—and it finally happens that I may post something in jest or a joke instead—but usually I don’t post anything—because jokes come from humour and my humour is overworked whenever I’m awake—trying hard not to express my real feelings and thoughts.